MYSTERY OF THE STOLEN HAIR

Part of my tick in the box for today was to go to the saloon to cut my hair as i prepare myself for all things festivity. Now let me say this: i'm one of those persons that might be more faithful to their barber than to their spouse. I could literally swim the seven seas throng with monsters of the deadliest variety just to get my hair a date with his clipping tool. In fact, i always get that look of "guy are you insane!" from friends anytime they accompany me to my barber's saloon considering the pilgrim-like journey that it involves.Its not really because he's a master-class barber; rather, it's just a case of fidelity on my part. it's not like i have those barber's delight brand of hair.

Now after the usual trimming and shaping, i realised while looking at d mirror that the shaping around my temples were asymmetrical and am like "Guy!, this thing no arrange na?" and this was his reply "Bros, no be my fault: na because your hair don over go inside well well".

Believe me, at that point my life practically flashed passed my eyes. I looked at d mirror again and truly saw that they have taken a giant leap backward.It was like a war for land ownership took place and my hair nation lost the battle so it had to relinquish a portion of its territory and by implication, it retreated.

As i journeyed back home that day, different thoughts fell out sequentially like packs of dominoes in my head. I even made a roll call in my head of some of my friends that have enough hair to last them for eternity but ended up consoling myself with the fact that great and popular people not excluding Tuface and Ramsey Nouah all share d bald/receding hairline curse.

 Hopefully when it fully blossom, i will not be judged by it but if anybody as much as think loud enough for me to hear that they are questioning my competence by it, then i have to bring in Martin Luther jnr into d matter and say "i have a dream that one day, people would be judged by d content of their character and not by the backward movement of their hairline"

i think i should stop myself here. Sorry i had to go melodramatic on u guys. Lets just say am that guy that makes triviality a big fuss!

MY SPECIAL CANDIDATES (MSc.)

IN THE THEATER of my life, these...

Two amazingly lovely women...

Are my special life-candidates.

For them I am bias.

For them,

My judgment is shaded with compromise and sentiments.

Favoritism feels objective when they are involved.

The binoculars through which I see the world

Blurs away imperfection when I look at them.

They are my fondant.

My kryptonite.

My slice of heavenly earth.

My laughter

My essence - my bliss...

They are the Queens of my heart and kidneys.

The leading jewels of my existence.

Happy birthday

To my precious Mum

And to my treasured Deinma.

Love you both so, so much!

#‎WordsFromAProudLover‬

FOR MY VERY FIRST BLOG-POST: Technologically Attached?!

Well dear newly acquired reader and hopefully soon-to-be-acquired follower, I present to you...

Me, myself and I.

Now, a few weeks ago, for some reason solely orchestrated by an unseen malevolent god of technology, my 'Nokia Torchlight' phone went epileptic on me and after some grueling last minute fight for relevance, it finally slumped into a vegetable state and only expresses a weakened existence by the display "contact service" which it shows every time I try to switch it on.

Well, it couldn't get any worse was the problem free philosophy i had to inculcate just to pacify myself; after all, I still have my multi-media phone to thumb away with.

Sadly, even that realism lasted 4 only a week as the only surviving member of Jerry's technological genealogy 'miraculously' disappeared and yes, I consciously chose the adverb "miraculously" amongst other suitable ones because if this story wasn't so negative, this act of disappearance would have gone down as one of those jaw-dropping, offering-giving and ovation rendering testimonies given in our Churches. To the point where I can now empathize with the Central Bank on how about 4.1 billion Naira disappeared from the minting company of Nigeria without their knowledge. Hehehehe - I laugh in Spanish!

But on a serious note, the few days without my technological pet was all I needed to observe how much it had infiltrated the firewalls of my everyday life. I was visibly grappling to get back my self-recognition.

Anyways, just like most Nollywood stories where the wicked 'always' dies and the poor inevitably becomes rich, this story has a happy ending to it as the phone was brought to me two days later by a young man who said he saw it somewhere I was too happy to think about.

Let me now say this, beyond the thought that maybe he brought the phone back because of its fallen value and scratchy appearance, I still feel this guy deserves a National Award considering the calibre of persons flaunting this award presently.