Who cares about height………

I always believe courage is best served when you are well equipped but if you’re a part of those Chinese Shaolin dudes that can defeat a nation of army with just a chopstick and insane fisticuffs, then I guess an exception easily shapes out. Now, before ladies swoon over the idea that I want to talk about leading men with bulging pectorals and big guns, let me slide in my real intent.

So I have this friend and by far one of the coolest cats you can have as a friend. He recently introduced me to this lady after swearing out his tongue that she would satisfy my chatty cravings. Considering my poor run of engaging in fickle and flat conversations spanning weeks now, my faculty lusted for a conversational intercourse badly. Well, we got on the chit-chat and after the usual tick in the box routine questions and answers, things spun out of control when I asked her “what are your essentials in a man?”

 I don’t even know why I asked. It’s not like am trying to make her my exclusive or am I?

 Anyway, maybe I just didn't want this conversation to fall into the countless footnotes of trashy discourse.  After naming what felt like an unending list of virtues consisting of the usual suspects from God-fearing to him having the strength of ten rodeo bulls combined good qualities, the epistle of listing was about to reach its climactic cliché when she said this “and oh very important: he must not be below 6 ft tall”.

Oh she didn't just go there!

Now considering the fact that I am some inches above the Nigerian national average height of 5.4 ft (am guessing some persons just got schooled with that info. Feel free to thank me).  Now, I've come to be quite happy with myself; at least for the fact that I've towered my mindset above my diminutive stature even though thoughts of my father being a 6 ft-plus-giant of a man still haunts me hitherto.

 God why?

To think that this girl just yanked me off her list of worthy suitors automatically because of my height was just something my head was finding hard to comprehend. The issue mentally teleported me to those dark days of fighting the Napoleon complex syndrome: days when I felt like my growth hormones got sieved out of my genes.

 But does the curse of the short man stand too great (pun unintended) to be overlooked for other qualities? or what are the reasons that feed our interest for height preference.

Would it be fair to poke out our blame finger and point towards traditional society that splits us along gender stereotypes: where a man is expected to be endowed with a tall stature and some brawn sprinkled around it while the woman should be slender figure and all pink in attitude? The society tries to fit them into one perfect circle of mutually complementary gender.

But are we not all flawed? Physically or character wise and that’s without me trying to sound like an advocate for the midget community. If our choice for a partner is prioritized purely on the oak-tree stature rather than checking out other character traits then I guess we are revolving towards the marginalization of the Akin and Pawpaw race? Sorry bad joke.

Well, for what it’s worth, maybe I will start looking for a tall woman to create the needed evolutionary drive to give my children a fighting chance at not being short. But as I said, my dad is 6ft plus and my mum 5.3ft and see how I turned out: managing just to be a few inches above the hobbit race (thanks mum). I guess that strategy might fall short in the end.

But what do you think guys?

Yeah, and about that girl, well lets just say we haven’t spoken since.

See y’all later.